Some Practical Stuff about a Relationship

After all the "AWWW", "So Sweet of Youuuu", My Darling Koochie Koo", "My Babbbieeee", "My Angel", "You are my Life", "Can't live without you", "I will go to the ends of the world with you" etc etc, there comes a phase in a relationship when you need to be more practical and stop imagining-expecting too much. Once the initial enthusiasm wears off, you start seeing the real side of the love. Not always can you meet each other as planned, not always will both of you can stay awake all night chatting, not always can you keep smiling when together and not always can you be honey sweet with each other.

We live in a world where stress, anxiety and competition are a major part of our vocabulary. Depression, work and health are catching up too. For the initial few months, you will be happily staying awake all night and texting 24x7, flirting and sending love notes, gifting on even his/her dog’s birthday and camping every week. But that doesn’t go on forever. As we get used to each other, there will be lesser texting, grumpiness will set in and you will start seeing each other’s flaws. And this is when you shouldn’t freak out. Instead, you keep your cool and start working towards bringing in happiness rather than grumbling at each other and getting on nerves.

Try going out less-often when either of you has too much office-work to do. Stop pestering when your boyfriend/girlfriend is busy with work. Let them finish it and keep sending an occasional message encouraging them, or tiny love notes to bring a smile on their face. If both of you have work load at the same time, make a decision to finish the work fast and then party together. It doesn’t help if you nag each other when you have stressful job. Instead, have an occasional dinner, order food for each other, send each other a surprise gift or a chocolate or simply send a smiley-kissing text in between.

Have some hobbies. When one of you is busy and the other is idle, problems start arising easily. Remember, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Encourage your partner to inculcate some hobbies. Gardening, collecting something, decorating your place, going for walks, participating in yoga classes, membership in local clubs etc. will do wonders to your relationship. These activities create positive atmosphere and also keep your mind fresh. Also, these will provide lots of things to carry out conversations and take away uneasy silences.

Stay healthy and fit. Enquire and keep tabs on each other’s health. Go out for gym, cycling or walks together. Join unisex gym or take swimming classes together. You will notice that as you work out together and notice changes in you together, your bond grows stronger and you grow closer than before. You will also increase your libido and feel more confident in bed, which not only will increase your happy-hours but also instill more liveliness in your day to day life.

Be protective, but not possessive. You can never expect a caged bird to love you. Always give freedom to your partner to choose things for them. Instead of imposing your ideas on them, discuss your thoughts with them. Tell them if anything about their behavior upsets you and make them understand. It is always better to talk and sort it out rather than remaining silent and sulk over it. Let your partner have friends of opposite gender if he/she wishes to, but tell them whenever you feel jealous or insecure about it politely. Do not be obsessed about checking their e-mails or cell-phones and brood over if they are greeted by a handsome hunk/beautiful lady. Keep your guard on but never break into their personal space. Remember, you should always give your partner breathing space. Suffocating them with your complexes and insecurities will have bad impact on your relationship.

Treat your partner the way they like to be treated. If your partner loves being independent, then give them space to have things their own way, but always stay in the background. If your partner loves depending on you, nourish them and care for them, standing in front of them. Keep telling each other your likes and dislikes all the time. We are humans and we tend to forget things. Make your partner remember things about you by reminding them once in a while.

Keep a balance in everything you do. Cook things you both like and buy stuff you both approve. If you have your choice this week, give it your partner’s choice next week. Keep your ideas and his ideas on a paper and merge them together. Visit both of your friends equally and host parties inviting all of them. Don’t be partial to your own whims and fantasies. Entertain each other. Watch movies – once of your choice, next time your partner’s. Bear with each other’s likes and dislikes. Don’t judge each other or mock each other if you are ignorant of anything. Educate each other about things you don’t know. Treat both your families equally and pay them visits whenever possible.

Put your partner ahead of you. When in love, you are to take responsibility of each other. If something you do is sure to affect them, ask them first if it is okay with them too and then do it. Be there for each other. If you are planning to go ahead and get married, then make sure that you have planned your finances well and have saved enough to start a family. Be transparent with each other. Never hide your habits or addictions from each other. Be open about your love life and discuss what you like and what you don’t. When you go out with friends, always be polite with each other, hold hands while walking and be protective of each other. Don’t berate your partner or mock them in front of anyone. If you don’t like something, discuss in private and sort it out. Remember, behaving in an uncivilized, vulgar and rude manner in front of your partner will not only make your standards fall in their eyes, but also create a never-healing breach between you both.

Keep your relationship simple. Don’t over-expect from each other. Remember, you both are equal in the relationship. Both of you should be equally emotionally strong and strive to improve your physical fitness. A sound mind and a healthy body, keeps a relationship strong and long-lasting. If you want a high-flying life or a simpleton one, then have a partner you suits your wants. Don’t settle for a less-than deserving partner and sigh over them the rest of your life. Also, don’t demand your partner to raise themselves above your bar of standards beyond their capability. See that your partner has what is required to keep you happy and that you have what is required to keep him happy. Without trust, there is no happiness. Without happiness, love cannot survive. And without love, a relationship is meaningless.

Bottom line, love with all your heart, but never lose your mind.