Petals of Life

After all the "AWWW", "So Sweet of Youuuu", My Darling Koochie Koo", "My Babbbieeee", "My Angel", "You are my Life", "Can't live without you", "I will go to the ends of the world with you" etc etc, there comes a phase in a relationship when you need to be more practical and stop imagining-expecting too much. Once the initial enthusiasm wears off, you start seeing the real side of the love. Not always can you meet each other as planned, not always will both of you can stay awake all night chatting, not always can you keep smiling when together and not always can you be honey sweet with each other. We live in a world where stress, anxiety and competition are a major part of our vocabulary. Depression, work and health are catching up too. For the initial few months, you will be happily staying awake all night and texting 24x7, flirting and sending love notes, gifting on even his/her dog’s birthday and cam...

This was supposed to be a poem, A tribute to our Love, our Life, But then the bitter truth came, no love's left to make us man and wife. Spring made our love flower, Summer saw our fervent ecstasy, By autumn we were falling apart, will winter break Us into you and me? It was only me all along, I now see, anticipating a love story to bloom, But no matter how hard I tried, I have no place in your heart's room. Was it foolishness that made me expect, something short of a miracle to happen, or was it unparalleled love for you, that never till now let my hope dampen. I am not sure if I should walk further, or stay silent and just continue here, or move behind turning my back. Should I give in to my heart or my fear? There was a time, when I was, a lifeless, soulless, heartless being, now should I just become that again, or .......................

Walking through the misty fog, I reflect on how my life has been, was it always like this since ever, or is there something I haven't seen? There wasn't a peak which remained, that I hadn't scaled down in the past, now even a stone looks mountainous, the ascent which would never be last. There was on time which had smiles, the rest which remained grief's token, the balance for which I strived for, was never achieved, remained broken. I tried to smile for people I loved, They tried to grab my smiles always, I tried to be there for kins and pals, they drifted away on my needy days. Was it my fault that I went through, bad, worse and worst patches in life? Is it too hard to speak up few words, of appreciation for my endless strife? Life is not achieving perfection, its rather the persistent trial for it, I know I am from being perfect now, but I will surely achieve it bit by bit. And I will once again reflect, ...

My morning starts with a thought about you, and you remain in my thoughts all through the day, but still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. Yes I didn't want you when you wanted me, and yes, I never made efforts to get you that day, so still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. Quite hard I tried to shadow your deeds, of fun, mockery, fudge and uncomely play, and still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. But I choose to love you blindly, blindly just, did things for you, coming out of my way, alas! still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. The pain that shoots through me is now, hurt, confusion and a lot repentance I pay, well still, its just me here, 'coz "we cannot be us", now I say..

The thing of yesterday Has withered away A new bloom stole My heart today Then I did smile Your eyes'd beguile But now I hate Your ways look vile What I had loved To it I bowed The tinkling music Now noisy and loud Changes come fast The love didn't last The waves washed ashore Storm broken ship mast

The carriage clock on the shelf, Ticks away all the while, I stare unblinking at it, My mind travelling away a mile.. How foolish of me to have, Never confessed my love for you, Now that you are going away, Crossing seas, in hours few.. Standing in a corner, I watch while you pack, Hidden from you I wipe a tear, Wanting to hold you back.. They say love sacrifices, But my love is selfish, I don't want to let you go, Call it love, lust or fetish.. My hand stretches to stop you, My heart longingly sings, How I wish to fly with you, How I wish I had wings..

Some day I will confess How I made my life a mess How will I be happy unless Every thing I do confess  Mighty sins that would egress Shadow path that I did digress Evil plans and thoughts agress Some day I will confess Hatred that I had to possess Love upon which I did obsess Consumed me away in excess Some day I will confess  How I dolled like a princess Strolled around trying to impress Memories that I always suppress Some day I will confess  Heart broken caused to depress Trodden upon who tried to oppress Avenged and been ruthless Some day I will confess  Failed at the door of success Rose again but with a transgress A flower with sprayed effervesce Some day I will confess

What are you to me? That morning cup of coffee, A little sweet and bitter, Softly touching my lips. What are you to me? That foamy creamy soap, A fragrance enveloping me, Wrapping up my body. What are you to me? That lightly flowing breeze, A soothing serene breathe, Rejoicing all my senses. What are you to me? That early ray of sun, A radiant comforting light, Brightening up my day. What are you to me? That perfect alter ego, A soul who knows me thorough, Awakening up my life.

Hum ek baar jeete hai, ek baar marte hai, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai ... aur pyar ek baar hi hota hai -      Shah Rukh Khan aka Rahul, Kuch Kuch Hota Hain (1998) It translates as – we live once, we die once, we get married once … and love too happens only once. We grew up hearing love stories of the damsels in distress, of the Sleeping Beauties, of Cinderella and of raasaleelas of Lord Krishna and his gopikas. For some time, the word love meant that of our parents, siblings, grandparents and it was measured from the amounts of chocolates and gifts they gave us, from how much they gave in to our whims and fancies and from how long they would spare for us. Then love meant the simple glance of our love interests, a few words they would speak over phone, the secret meetings that we would steal and few kisses and hugs showered upon us. And finally, love was redefined as the amount of sacrifices that our parents and better half made for us, those sacri...