Petals of Life

A rustle of wind, caught her hair, it swirled her tresses and a skimpy skirt, she fluttered her eyelashes at bypassers, smiled invitingly, trying to flirt. It was a hot summer’s day all around, yet she could feel a chill in her heart, a gaudy suited man, stepped in her porch, she brightened her smile, quick and tart. It was usual for the men she bedded, they came and went, satisfied to core, but in their wake she cried and wept, she felt like a mermaid washed ashore. She was not endowed with wealth aplenty, Nor was she blessed with a parent’s care, She was always a prey, an exotic bait, Never sheltered from stranger’s stare. She never dreamed, for she just knew, She would never have a ‘proper’ life, She will be a bedsport, a playtoy, She would be a whore, never a wife. Her life was someone’s game of dice, Yet she lived, she didn’t know why, She still smiled at her new ‘customer’, her present still lived, letting her future die. ...

She stares at the rising sun, her chin up, her hair's a tight bun, They wonder where her femininity hides, 'coz none know her spirted girlish side. She waves compliments unconcerned, when peers praise, for she is learned, they wonder of what stone is she made, 'coz none look behind her tough facade. She walks with supreme disdain,  her fury can have a dragon slain, they wonder when her attitude will fall, 'coz none feel her affection for all. She faces problems with might, solves with intelligence and insight, they wonder how she keeps her calm, 'coz none notice her inner storm. She mingles with incredible grace, wears make-up thick on her face, they wonder who can resist her charm, But none keep her wintery life warm. She laughs at little things, She flirts and talks of flings, they wonder why she smiles a lot, 'coz none see her broken heart.

After all the "AWWW", "So Sweet of Youuuu", My Darling Koochie Koo", "My Babbbieeee", "My Angel", "You are my Life", "Can't live without you", "I will go to the ends of the world with you" etc etc, there comes a phase in a relationship when you need to be more practical and stop imagining-expecting too much. Once the initial enthusiasm wears off, you start seeing the real side of the love. Not always can you meet each other as planned, not always will both of you can stay awake all night chatting, not always can you keep smiling when together and not always can you be honey sweet with each other. We live in a world where stress, anxiety and competition are a major part of our vocabulary. Depression, work and health are catching up too. For the initial few months, you will be happily staying awake all night and texting 24x7, flirting and sending love notes, gifting on even his/her dog’s birthday and cam...

This was supposed to be a poem, A tribute to our Love, our Life, But then the bitter truth came, no love's left to make us man and wife. Spring made our love flower, Summer saw our fervent ecstasy, By autumn we were falling apart, will winter break Us into you and me? It was only me all along, I now see, anticipating a love story to bloom, But no matter how hard I tried, I have no place in your heart's room. Was it foolishness that made me expect, something short of a miracle to happen, or was it unparalleled love for you, that never till now let my hope dampen. I am not sure if I should walk further, or stay silent and just continue here, or move behind turning my back. Should I give in to my heart or my fear? There was a time, when I was, a lifeless, soulless, heartless being, now should I just become that again, or .......................

Walking through the misty fog, I reflect on how my life has been, was it always like this since ever, or is there something I haven't seen? There wasn't a peak which remained, that I hadn't scaled down in the past, now even a stone looks mountainous, the ascent which would never be last. There was on time which had smiles, the rest which remained grief's token, the balance for which I strived for, was never achieved, remained broken. I tried to smile for people I loved, They tried to grab my smiles always, I tried to be there for kins and pals, they drifted away on my needy days. Was it my fault that I went through, bad, worse and worst patches in life? Is it too hard to speak up few words, of appreciation for my endless strife? Life is not achieving perfection, its rather the persistent trial for it, I know I am from being perfect now, but I will surely achieve it bit by bit. And I will once again reflect, ...

My morning starts with a thought about you, and you remain in my thoughts all through the day, but still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. Yes I didn't want you when you wanted me, and yes, I never made efforts to get you that day, so still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. Quite hard I tried to shadow your deeds, of fun, mockery, fudge and uncomely play, and still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. But I choose to love you blindly, blindly just, did things for you, coming out of my way, alas! still, its just me here, "we cannot be us", you say.. The pain that shoots through me is now, hurt, confusion and a lot repentance I pay, well still, its just me here, 'coz "we cannot be us", now I say..

The thing of yesterday Has withered away A new bloom stole My heart today Then I did smile Your eyes'd beguile But now I hate Your ways look vile What I had loved To it I bowed The tinkling music Now noisy and loud Changes come fast The love didn't last The waves washed ashore Storm broken ship mast